Yo yo yo dog, for me ...

I'm pretty much done with Randy and Paula. I never have any idea what Randy is trying to say. Usually it's something like, "For me (which means, in Randyspeak, "in my opinion",), it just was a little pitchy, and for me, dog, it just didn't have that yo." Oh, okay Randy, thanks for clearing that up. To be fair, though, his comments are usually a lot more encouraging "Yo yo man, dog, wow, you, wow, for me? You blew me away." Uh ...

Paula .... I'd like to just give her a bowl of pudding and a big spoon, so she can fling gobs of pudding at the contestants after they sing. It would have about as much meaning. She doesn't seem to understand, either, that the contest is an ongoing elimination. Every time someone sucks, she says, "But you're beautiful, we know you can sing," (tearing up now) " you just blow me away with all of your colors, your energy is like a rain forest ...."

At this point, Simon appropriately jumps in with his cogent criticism (and I mean that in the sense of literary criticism, not what your mother does when you gain a few pounds). When are people going to learn that Simon is ALWAYS right? This contest is about marketability, and he knows that. I might not be totally with him on the marketability of Achuela or however you spell it, but that kid can SING.

I think Randy and Paula should take a hike, and Simon should be allowed to pick two really hot girls from the audience, and the three of them should judge together. He'd be happier, the audience would have something to look at, and I wouldn't have to listen to Dog and the Botox Hunter anymore.