Friday from Heck

Why was I looking forward to Friday so much? Why? Why? It's just another infuriating day.

Before I get into that, I must respond to Ashley's anxious comment regarding my news yesterday. Of course I am going to continue with the regular blog. The two new services are in addition to the one I already provide: artful recounting of the details of my boring-ass life. Also, I need to add that I am also available for grammatical advice. Duh.

Okay, so back to the day from Heck ...

The Gas Company Saga

Let's start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start). Fiance and I moved into our apartment on 9/15/2007. My lease on my old apartment in Manhattan ended on 10/31/2007, so I had a bit of an overlap. I called ConEd in Manhattan before I left, and I advised them to continue the first account through 10/31, and also to open an additional account in my name on 9/15 in Brooklyn. No problem.

About 3 weeks after we move in, the landlady calls Fiance to tell him that the gas company just pushed past her into the garage and turned off the gas to our apartment, despite her protests that people (we) actually lived there. Fiance calls me, and I spend the rest of the (very busy work) day on the phone with KeySpan. It turns out that ConEd controlled both electric and gas in Manhattan, but only electric in Brooklyn. Gas in Brooklyn is provided by KeySpan, formerly Brooklyn Union. Well, who knew. So, they had no name on the account, and the just showed up and turned off the gas. When I asked the woman why they didn't tack a note to the door or something first, she said, we didn't know where you lived! I said, "well you certainly found the place when you decided to shut my gas off!" to which she responded, "We didn't shut off your gas, we shut off our gas!"

They were totally obnoxious to me. It was a Thursday, and they said that in order to schedule the gas to be turned on that Monday, I'd have to make it down to their headquarters in Brooklyn on Thursday with a copy of my lease and two forms of photo ID, by 5pm. Well, it was 1:30 pm, and even if I could leave work (and I couldn't), it would take at least an hour to get to my apartment to get those documents, and then another hour to get to their headquarters. Not gonna happen. I called back every 15 minutes, trying to get someone reasonable on the phone. I called my mother, crying, just like any mature, 26-yr-old attorney would do. My mom said, "Geeze, tell them you have a baby!" as if that's the obvious secret code to get your gas turned back on, and only an idiot wouldn't know that. So, I called back, and I told the next person that without my gas stove, I didn't know how I'd heat my baby's bottles, and I didn't know how I could do the laundry, and I didn't know how I could bathe my baby, and it was supposed to get down to 40` that weekend, and I didn't know if it would be warm enough ... for the baby. I told the guy that I was an attorney, and that I would swear an affirmation that I did live at that address and did have a lease, and I would have that affirmation notarized, and I would fax it to him right away with two forms of photo ID. He said yes! So I faxed my sworn statement along with a copy of my NJ drivers license (bearing my parents' address) and a copy of my expired student ID. Gas got turned back on about 20 min later. So ... that was my first encounter with the gas company.

Fast forward a couple of months, as Fiance and I are trying to merge our fiances, debt, etc. I find that the easiest thing to do is to sign up for level bill pay, so all my bills are equal, and auto bill pay, so the money comes right out of my checking. This way, I know exactly how much I am going to be charged, and when. So I signed up for this in about January. I never got billed. I called the gas company at least twice in January and twice in February. Both times, I was told that the auto bill pay takes time, that I should ignore my paper bills, and just wait for the system to get caught up. I did what they said, but still called back every couple of weeks because I was nervous that they would cut my gas off.

On Wednesday, I got an email saying that on March 17, my account would be debited $179. My level bill pay amount is only supposed to be $89, so I called to see what was going on. They said I would be charged for two months this time, because the February bill never got paid, because their system wasn't caught up yet. Fine.

Wednesday was an annoying, long day, and at the end of it, I went home and went to bed. Thursday morning I noticed that the answering machine was blinking. Sure enough, it was KeySpan, calling about a "very important issue" regarding my bill. I called them back right away, and I told them that I had been eager to pay for months, and I didn't know what the problem was. They had an attitude with me right away, and they said sometimes the system takes 20 - 30 days to get straightened out, because they have to wait for authorization from my bank. So I said, fine, but you're the ones who called me, so just stop calling me if everything is fine. They said sorry for the misunderstanding.

Thursday was another annoying day at work. I got home pretty late, we had leftover mac and cheese, and I went to bed. This morning the answering machine was blinking again, meaning they called yesterday. Got a very similar message from KeySpan. This time when I called, I was irate. I was shouting at them at about 7:15, telling them to stop calling me like I'm some sort of deadbeat. I gave them access to my bank account more than 2 months ago -- just take the friggin money! I even called them multiple times to let them know that I wasn't being charged! It was like the Twilight Zone of customer service. It was infuriating. I said please make them stop calling me. The guy said, just send a check for $179 and they will stop. I am absolutely certain that if I send them a check for $179, they will still autodebit another $179 on March 17. I asked the guy if they would shut off my gas if I didn't pay in the next 10 days, and he said no. He said the only thing that will happen is that I will get kicked off level bill pay (am I even on it???). I said fine. He said that the money will not get autodebited on March 17, because the auto bill pay can't be activated unless there is a zero balance on the account. I am going to take my chances. If the money doesn't come out on 3/17, I'll send a check on 3/18. Until then, I expect to get a call every day from KeySpan. I am pretty tempted to get Seven on my Side.

The day continues ...

So then I get to work this morning, already fired up about the Keyspan thing, and I have a message on my work voicemail, from 9pm last night. It's the MTA (that's the bus and subway people, for you non-New Yorkers), letting me know that one of their drivers turned in my purse. Great. I didn't even know it was missing. All my credit cards, debit cards, drivers license, etc are in there, not to mention what the guy called "my personal stuff." Fantastic. The best part is that I didn't even notice it was gone. Good thing I had a bunch of business cards in there, so the guy knew how to reach me. So now my purse is at a depot in Brooklyn, and I can't get it because I am going to NJ this weekend. It will be moved to a depot in Manhattan sometime next week, and then I'll be able to claim it. Fan-freaking-tastic. Good thing Fiance and I merged our accounts -- he can just give me cash and I'll be fine. I also have all my credit card info on SeamlessWeb already, so lunch will not be a problem. But really? Did I need this? It's only 11am. What else is going to happen today?