It's Official!

My mom is on her way to the post office with our wedding invitations as we speak. Fiance likes to make fun of me, because every time we've checked off another item on our to-do list, I say "It's really official now! We're really getting married!" But REALLY -- this is OFFICIAL. {:-D

I was very sad to leave my wedding band at home today, but fair is fair, I guess. It is wonderful to have my engagement ring back on my finger, though, and I can enjoy looking at it on its own for the next two months, until it has to share company with my band.

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In other news, who remembers the saga of the irreverent admin? Here's a little update. Things had been going fairly well. I'd actually talked to my priest about how out-of-control angry the situation was making me, and I had resolved to just try to think nice things about her every time she did something that would aggravate me. Well, before I'd even had a chance to implement that new policy, she actually started acting a little nicer to me. Apparently, though, her change of attitude was short-lived.

For the last several weeks, the securities partner and I have been working with the Department of Banking of a certain state, because one of our clients, a broker-dealer, is facing some securities violations there. The potential penalties are severe -- their registration could be revoked, and they could be fined enough money to put them out of business. Not a good situation. So, I've been researching like crazy, to find examples of more severe violations with lesser penalties imposed. Partner has been working on a letter, which is pretty much our last chance to show them why they should settle for less of a fine. On Wednesday night I stayed late, creating squibs of these example cases so that Partner could slug them into the letter. Last night, he finished drafting it all. He told Admin to pull up the file on her computer and to format the letter for letterhead. He told me to print out a hard copy and make any necessary edits (it's kind of my thing).

So, I printed out the letter (about eight pages), and I did some fine tuning. There was one type-o ("gain" instead of "again,") but most of my changes were stylistic: word choice ("incidence" was used where "incident" belonged), punctuation, capitalization, etc. I brought my changes to Partner, and he OK'd them. I walked over to Admin's desk, and she was talking to my friend, Associate. She didn't see me, and was telling him that she was waiting for me (well excuse the crap out of me for doing a thorough job!). So, I said, "you're not waiting anymore -- here I am!" in a really cheerful tone. I walked closer to her desk with the letter in my hand, and I began to show her the changes. She tried to take it out of my hand, and said "Just give it to me, I don't need you to go through every little thing." I said, "I would like to go through it all with you so we are clear." She said, "This is going to take too long -- I guarantee I can do it faster myself" (I wasn't aware that speed -- not accuracy -- was the goal). I said, "Partner always goes through his edits with me, and I'm doing the same with you." I swear, my tone was calm but firm, and not belittling or rude or anything else. Her tone was something else entirely. Well, she says, "[Miranda], I can read, I don't need you to go through this! Just give it to me!" So I said "Fine." and I dropped it on her desk / keyboard, and I walked away. I circled back around the other side of the firm and I went into Associate's office, because he had heard the first half of the interaction. He said "Wow, I didn't know she spoke to you like THAT!" Yup.

So, I decided I would go right into Partner's office while I was still mad. I went in and shut the door, and told him that I'd just had a moment with Admin that I was sure he was going to hear about, and that I wanted him to hear it from me first. I related it to him exactly as I've just posted here, and he took me at my word. He asked if maybe she was busy, because he'd given her some other stuff. I told him she's like this with me 100% of the time, and that I had spoken to Admin Coordinator about it, but that I hadn't wanted to bother him. He apologized for her behavior, which I said wasn't necessary, and he said he would speak with her. I told him I didn't care if he spoke with her or not -- she's his employee, his business -- but that I just wanted him to know the truth about what happened in case she spoke to him.

So, for the next couple of hours, I was working on something else. When I was finished with everything and was about to leave (at 9pm), I asked him if that letter had gone out. He said "Yes, Admin printed it, I signed it, and she scanned it and emailed it to the Dept of Banking." I asked if he'd checked it before he signed it, and he said he hadn't. We pulled out the copy of what was sent ... SHE MISSED HALF OF MY CORRECTIONS.

Thankfully, she changed "gain" to "again," but she left "incidence," and she left "Dollar" capitalized several times. Partner is NOT happy with her. He told me that she had, in fact, come in to speak with him after I had, and told the exact same story, except in her version, she was right to tell me that she didn't need to be hand-held, that she'd been doing this for 13 years, etc (Oh, excuse me, but I was in college and law school during that time, which, once again, makes me more qualified to give you direction). She told him that I threw the paper at her and it hit her in the arm ( 1-- I dropped it; I did not throw it. 2 -- It's a piece of paper). She told him that I was rude to him, and he said he found that hard to believe, as I am always very respectful of everyone. She said, "Not to the staff," which is complete and total poppycock.

I have been treated like "the help" before, like I was beneath contempt, like I was a peon (the two most memorable instances are working as a hostest and working as the caretaker of a house that belonged to cranky old stamp collectors ... but that's a whole other cabin time, as they say). The point is, I would never treat anyone that way, first of all because it's wrong, and I don't think I'm better than anyone else, and second, because I've been treated that way and I know how demeaning and hurtful it is. It is just not in my nature at all, and it's not how I was raised. Implications that I act superior and rudely like that really hit home -- it's personally offensive, and it's also professionally dangerous. Nobody wants to hire attorneys who are rude to the staff.

Thankfully, Partner didn't believe her for a second. And, he promised he's going to point out the errors she missed in this document. When he gets back from lunch, I'll follow up with him and make sure that happened. Based on the way she was bouncing around the office this morning, she clearly believes last night was a win in her column. Not so.

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I am very much looking forward to the weekend, as you might imagine. It's not Easter for us yet (about another month), but it should be a good weekend. On Saturday I'm going to Jersey City to help one of my bridesmaids and best friends pick out the bridesmaid dresses for her own wedding, which I am also going to be in. If I am feeling brave and the weather is clear, I might just drive myself. Otherwise my gallant knight has agreed to drive me and then go wait in a Starbucks for a while. And people say romance is dead!

That's all, folks!